Blackjack Humor
laughter is a great form of preventive medicine, and it help keep the blood pressure down
To tip or not to tip A blackjack dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand were arguing about whether or not it was appropriate to tip the Blackjack dealer. The player said, "When I get bad cards, it's not the dealers fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously had nothing to do with it so why should I tip him?" The Blackjack dealer said, "When you eat out do you tip the waiter?" "Yes." "Well then, he serves you food, I'm serving you cards so you should tip me." "OK, but, the waiter gives me what I ask for...I'll take an eight."
Religious Gambling A rabbi, a minister, and a priest are playing blackjack when the police raid the game. Addressing the priest, the lead officer asks: "Father Murphy, were you playing blackjack?" Turning his eyes to heaven, the priest whispers, "Lord, forgive me for what I am about to do." To the police officer, he then says, "No, officer, I was not playing blackjack." The officer then asks the minister: "Pastor Johnson, were you playing blackjack?" Again, after an appeal to heaven, the minister replies, "No, officer, I was not playing blackjack." Turning to the rabbi, the officer again asks: "Rabbi Goldstein, were you playing blackjack?" Shrugging his shoulders, the rabbi replies: "With whom?"
Bill Gates Chooses Heaven or Hell Bill Gates arrives at the port to heaven and hell. Petrus says: You see Bill, we don't know what to do with you. You may choose "heaven" or "hell". Bill peeks in heaven and sees a couple of old boring men sitting around at a table. Bill takes a look in hell and sees really beautiful women, sex, drugs, rock and roll, and most of all, Blackjack. So Bill says : I am a Blackjack playing man, I want to go to hell! Once in hell, Bill is immediately thrown into the fire. So Bill says : hey, what the hell is this, I saw all the Blackjack, the women, and sex? The devil says: 'That was just a demo version."
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Last night I got thrown out of the casino. I completely misunderstood the crap table.
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I know a guy at the casino who won%u2019t gamble. He just watches the games and makes mental bets. Last week, he lost his mind.
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As I walked in the casino, I passed some Siamese twins on their way out. I said, %u201CDid you win?%u201D They said, %u201CYes and no.%u201D
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With gamblers, they say a fool and his money are soon parted. What I want to know is how did a fool and his money get together in the first place?
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"What'll you have, Normie?" "Well, I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap." "Looks like beer, Norm." "Call me Mister Lucky."